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WILLY OR WONT HE

White House staff think that The Donald is changing sex and they are secretly running a competition to decide what his name will be if he has the final cut and tuck. Top of the list so far is Dorothy. Their concern was heightened recently when he hit an even higher than usual falsetto voice when claiming that the Chinese…

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Hello and goodby

The TODAY programme on BBC radio 4 "And now, at 3 minutes to 8, an update on the weather with Helen Willetts" "Oh, thank you so much, Thank you so, very very much. Thank you. And hello. Hello everyone. And Good Morning. And good morning to you all. Hello. And now, the weather. Oh gosh, I've run out of time".…

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ONE LAW FOR SOME

MINUTES OF TOP LEVEL MEETING OF EDITORIAL STAFF OF SUNDAY TIMES "STYLE MAGAZINE". Lorraine Candy, Editor in Chief:"Alison - how the hell did this get past you?" Alison Thomson. Chief Sub-Editor::"Well, it seemed OK." "It seemed OK. Are you mad? It says 'It used to be tequila and no knickers and sex on the stairs'. Is it any bloody wonder…

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LAST OF THE WAFFELERS

Witsended BBC news programmers are working on a revolutionary new editorial policy to stop in their tracks MP's refusing to answer direct questions. They plan to implement a shock "two strikes and your out" interrogation system, and the flag ship radio 4's TODAY will be the test bed. Journalists will warn a waffling Commons clever dick who responds to such…

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